Review - Sh!thead and the Dares (Shithead, Palace, Karma, etc.)

Published by Imagination Atlas Ltd
For 2-5 players, aged 13 to adult

A little while back, I invited a group of friends to come over to play board games. It's the sort of thing I do.

It was one of those lightweight games and heavyweight beers sort of events, and as the evening drifted into the night, several guests drifted away.

By about 3am, there were just three of us left. One of the remaining guests produced a deck of cards and suggested we play a little game he knew. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But it was late at night (or early in the morning), I'd had one too many sherbets, and what followed was something akin to a game of Go Johnny Go Go Go Go.

Review - The Walking Dead: All Out War

Published by Mantic Games
Designed by Mark Latham
For 1 or 2 players, aged 14 to adult

So, I work from home (if what I do all day really counts as work). I have a little nook all my own, which is actually an extension on the front of my kitchen. It's quiet for most of the day, it's nice and bright, and most importantly of all, I'm incredibly close to my kettle. Because tea is basically the thing that makes me function on a level that closely approximates the way I have determined other humans are supposed to act.

But I'm not precious about my tea. I don't use loose leaves, I don't use a teapot, and I don't think I even own a cup and saucer.

No, I brew my tea in the mug I'm going to drink it from. I squeeze the teabag, and tannic acid be damned. I even add the milk before I take out the teabag. It's not like anybody else is here to see me do it.

Part of the reason for my complete disregard for any kind of etiquette.... drunkiquette?*... is because I'm always in a hurry. And being in a hurry comes with it's own tea-related problems. For example, quite often I'll put the teabag and the water in a mug, and then I think, "I'll just leave that to brew for a minute." And then I'll go off and do something else.

Eventually I'll come back to my tea to discover it's completely stewed. It'll have that gross film over the top that breaks up and sticks to the sides when you stir it, and it'll be just the wrong side of drinking temperature. And I'll make a sort of half-hearted attempt to sip at it, but really I've left it just a bit too long, and my hearts not in it, and the idea of tea isn't quite as appealing as it was 20 minutes ago.

Then I'm a bit sad.

And this, if you hadn't figured it out, is an incredibly laboured metaphor for my review for The Walking Dead: All Out War. And by "my review," I mean this review. The one you're reading. The slightly lukewarm one that my hearts not really in.

Review - Welcome to the Dungeon

Designed by Masato Uesugi
Published by IELLO
For 2-4 players, aged 10 to adult

My mum has this saying: "Little things please little minds, little trousers fit little behinds."

My mum's weird.

But she's half right, at least. Little things are pleasing; but not only for little minds. Everyone likes little things, right? I mean, that's what I keep telling myself...

Thinking about it, it's probably not true. Only the other day I saw someone on BoardGameGeek arguing that one game was better value compared to another because it physically weighed more.

But anyway, for the sake of this bit, let's say that most people like little things. Babies, kittens, Fun Size Mars Bars... You name it. Just don't name mobile phones. They seem to be getting bigger again. Like they were in the 80s.

Everyone liked big stuff in the 80s.

I feel like this intro is getting away from me, so I'm going to press on.

Review - Candy Land

Designed by Eleanor Abbott
Published by MB Games
For 2 to 4 players, aged 3 to 6 years

Recently, for the first time in my adult life, I discovered I couldn't fit into my regular jeans size. I haven't stacked on massive amounts of weight though; just enough to nudge the needle to the point where it's a little bit difficult to breathe when the button's done up. It's not a big deal; these things happen. The real problem is, jeans in the next size up are too big. I need to hoist my belt to within an inch of its life to prevent myself from dropping trou when I don't intend to (because, obviously, sometimes I intend to).

Naturally, this situation leaves me in a quandary (in front of the laundry).

Do I curb my enthusiasm for biscuits to get back to my original jeans size, or do I commit to the cause and fill out my new jeans size?

Now, I know what you're thinking: What has this got to do with reviewing board games?

The answer, of course, is nothing much, really. I just felt I needed to justify why I'm eating custard creams while I'm writing.

Oh yeah... and I'm reviewing Candy Land. I figured an intro about gaining a small amount of weight was slightly more tasteful than an intro about diabetes.

Review - The Game of Inns & Taverns

Designed by Sara Finch and Leslie Scott
Published by Oxford Games Ltd
For 2 or 4 players, who are adults because "it is illegal for British pubs to serve alcoholic beverages to persons under 18 years of age"

Do you like beer mats? Do you like inns? Do you like taverns? Do you like pub crawls? Do you like board games?

Do you like board games about going on pub crawls around inns and taverns collecting beer mats?

If you do then... you have very particular tastes, and probably find it very difficult to find games that appeal to you.

Furthermore, you're going to hate The Game of Inns & Taverns.

Seriously. Hate it.

I mean, sure, it's probably the first game you've ever found that's tailor-made for your particular peculiarities. But that just means it's going to hurt a little bit more when you find out it's absolute dross.